It's up to you

Today I have good news and bad news for you.


The good news:  You are responsible for your life.


The bad news: You are responsible for your life.


I'd love to say it's someone else's fault.  When I was at the depth of my depression and waiting moment by moment to die I looked for someone to blame it on.  And I had people.


Oh yes did I have people!


I'd been in abusive relationships, had people scam me out of tens of thousands of dollars, gone without the basic necessities of life for years, been shafted by the church, deserted by the god I believed in, and on and on.


But you know what.  Through it all I ultimately blamed myself.  "I" didn't have to stay in those relationships, fall prey to the scammers, live with nothing (I could have gotten welfare), left the church and god instead of going back time and time again, begging for forgiveness and help that never came, and so on.


When we want to die we often go back and forth between blaming others and blaming ourselves.  And of course if we're religious we blame god, then blame ourselves for not being good enough. 


Guess what.... it doesn't matter.


Why?


Because in the end it's really up to you and no one but you.

• You can blame others or blame yourself.  It doesn't change anything.
• You can say if only (this or that were different).  It doesn't change anything.
• You can insist you can't change anything.  You're right and nothing changes.
• You can blame the system and you're right... it sucks.  But it doesn't change anything.
• You can blame your education (or lack of education) but that doesn't change anything either.
• You can blame religion and you'd be at least partly right.  But it doesn't change anything.

The ONLY thing you can change is yourself.

• You can start doing your own thing, ignoring others.
• You can make a plan for your life (you can always decide to die tomorrow).
• You can stop worrying about what others are doing (you can't change them) and focus on yourself.
• You can use the system to your advantage or circumvent it all together.
• You can get education in something you're interested in, leaving the rest of the BS behind.
• You can leave a religion that doesn't work for you (and may be a huge part of the problem) and find one you like or none at all.
• You can find people who are more like you - kind of like your own tribe.
• If you hate your job, quit and get a different one.
• If you hate school change your classes, learn at home, or stop going for now.
• If your relationships suck then get out of them.  No one is worth dying for... not literally or figuratively. 
• If you are sick then you can see what can be done to get well.  Often outside conventional medicine as they don't have all the answers.

You have ULTIMATE POWER over your life.


It may not seem that way and it make take time and effort to regain the power you lost but trust me.... you DO have ultimate power over your life.


That, my friend is a very freeing thought!