Too Mad to Die

Anger is a powerful emotion!

 

People say that people who want to kill themselves are angry, but that hasn't been my experience.  Yes, we're angry but it's because we can't see any way out of this hell on earth.  We're mad at the world because it sucks, and mad at ourselves for not being able to handle it. 

 

Even more than that, we feel hopeless and stuck, and it seems like dying is the only way out.

 

Sometimes though, turning that anger outward is another way out. 

• Yes the world sucks and it's ok to be pissed off about that. 
• Yes, people are cruel and that too deserves our anger.
• No, life isn't fair and what really isn't fair is that people tell us the lie that it should be fair!  I am definitely angry about that!
• No our bodies don't always cooperate with us.  We may be too short, too tall, too fat, too thin, ugly, sick, deformed or a whole host of other things.  What's really angering about that is how we're fed the lies about how we "should" look or feel. That makes me red-faced angry!
• No we may not fit in.  Fuck them!  It's ok to be really angry that people expect us to be what we're not just to please them!

When you look outside yourself and start seeing how shitty the world can be then you'll realize that yeah, you're pissed off and YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE!

 

It's that anger, directed outward that can propel you away from wanting to kill yourself and toward wanting to do something about the world around you. 

 

• Yes the world sucks but you don't have to let it kick you around. 
• Yes, people are cruel but you don't have to put up with their bad behavior.
• No, life isn't fair and once you realize that you can learn to play differently, getting more of what you want instead of being at the mercy of the world.
• No our bodies don't always cooperate with us but we can use the parts that do to our advantage, and work on the parts that don't.  Do you know I spent most of my life thinking I was ugly?  Now I look back and realize how pretty I was. Never again will I listen to what anyone says about me. Ever!
• No we may not fit in buy why would you want to?  I don't.  If I fit in I'd be a corporate drone in a bland, cookie cutter neighborhood numbing my brain on TV and video games and believing the media like a zombie.  Yuck!  I'm glad I don't fit in and I never will.

So you see... anger has a purpose.  Part of me not killing myself was being too damn angry to die!  Does this resonate with you?